Phuket: Land of Massages, Motorbikes, and Lady Boys

We woke up early (which is fast becoming a habit here) and decided to walk down to the beach to check things out in daylight. Karon Beach is absolutely gorgeous: there are lounge chairs and umbrellas that line the entire beach, and I’m sure they would all be occupied during the high season here! The beach before sunrise was picture perfect with fine white sand, white puffy clouds, and waters a mixture of blue and green found only in the tropics. We snapped a few pictures and wondered why everyone told us to stay away from Phuket on our trip. Karon Beach seemed sleepy, peaceful, and very picturesque.

The breakfast buffet at the Baan Karonburi was a hodgepodge of American, Thai, and Thai imitations of American food. The fresh fruit was to die for, and the rest of the breakfast filled us up. Traditional Thai breakfast consists mainly of pad thai and fried rice, and ironically enough those were our favorite parts of breakfast. After breakfast, we decided to take advantage of being Thailand: we bought each other two hour massages as birthday presents. And for about 20 dollars, we thoroughly enjoyed a traditional Thai massage with equal parts massaging and stretching, with just a hint of beating (and no happy ending, so get your mind out of the gutter!). We were feeling very mellow and all loosey goosey when we decided to check out the beach and the small beach town we were in.

In the time we had had breakfast and massages, the waves at our little beach oasis had turned massive. But we weren’t going to let anything get in the way of us getting in that ocean! The Andaman Sea had turned an even more turquoise color with the arrival of sunshine, and our swim was almost as great as our massages. We quickly realized that all the beach chairs and umbrellas were in front of beachside bars, and if you sat in a chair you had to buy a drink. Not quite ready to have a beer, we walked down to the southern end of the beach instead, then turned around and walked back on the streets. We passed a minimart and a few markets, did a bit of shopping, bought a fifth of Thai whiskey for about four dollars, and made it back still wondering why Phuket got such a bad rap.

For lunch we went to Ging’s: a little Thai place on the main drag of Karon Beach. We were enamored by the great food and the friendly, generous staff. If you are ever in Phuket, you have to go here! While we were there, the staff was doing free nail painting, free afternoon coffee, free ice cream, and they even gave the baby of another customer a bath because they thought she was overheating! Ging herself joined us at our table and introduced us to a couple from New Zealand. Ging bought a round of drinks for us while we were chatting, and the couple told us that the best way to spend a day in Phuket is to rent a motorbike. It costs 800 Baht to catch a taxi to the next beach town, but you can rent a motorbike for 300 Baht for 24 hours. So we did! Our drinks led to Ging telling us her heartbreaking life story and a few tid bits about Thai culture. Let’s just say Ging’s life involved a mother who thought Ging killed her father, an arranged marriage that turned very violent, and a grandmother that wouldn’t touch her. Regardless of all that, or because of it, Ging made something of herself and now owns three restaurants on the island of Phuket. She is amazing!

Taking advice from the Kiwis, we decided to take our motorbike to Patong Beach, about 15 minutes north, to watch the sunset and observe the mayhem. We finally got a taste for why people don’t like Phuket! It was madness! There were people trying to sell you things everywhere you turned, and because Justin was wearing a nice shirt, they thought we had a lot of money to spend and harassed us even more! The craziest part was that half the shops and bars were shut down for the off season! We can’t imagine what this place looks like during tourist season! We did watch a beautiful sunset, and had an overpriced beer while we watched the lady boys walk around the markets. In Thailand, there are a lot of men who dress as women (all in short plaid skirts) called lady boys who charger money for tourists to take their pictures and make money off “ping pong shows”. We didn’t go see one, but we are told they are grossly awe-inspiring. We decided we weren’t up for watching the lady boys do obscene things with their boy parts.

After the madness of Patong, we went back to Karon and discovered that just north of our hotel (earlier in the day we had walked south) was like a mini Patong! So our little Karon oasis was a lot smaller than we initially realized, but we loved it. We met some really neat people, and even though everyone says to avoid Phuket, we recommend it for a day, just so you know what it’s all about!